When i found out i was pregnant, I made a promise to myself that I would be the best mom any kid could ask for. Four  and a half years later I am trying so hard to live up to the promise I made. My kid has developed an attitude. He has so much personality that I have no clue what to do with. Should I let him express himself? Wearing whatever clothes he wants, do his hair how he wants, making his own bedtime….. I have no clue. What i do know is that by telling myself every decision i make  I am making it in his best interest is a load of crap.  Don’t get me wrong 90% of the time it’s for him, but that 10% that left is purely my own selfish needs. The need to keep him a baby for as long as i can. Get as much time as i can with him as i can before he goes off to kindergarten leaving me at home during the morning with nothing to do but miss him. Being a good mom is so freaking hard. If giving them love was all we needed to succeed at parenting the world would be so much better. Rambling a bit but you get my point…. As he grows and learns so do I……

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